I'm gonna go ahead and issue some double taps...part deux

Ok Kids, I feel like (with the prompting of my sis!) that the neuvo rash of Set-it-Off, straight back, a la Cleo braids need to be called out.
Here we go kids. My pointer finger is ready! Double taps go to:

Ciara. it was only thinking out of the box for the album cover, OK boo? Never mind that the "double edition" was really the same album cover with those low budget graphics in a different color. Rocking the same hairstyle in public is unacceptable.

Even if it is Z100. That outfit would have looked GREAT if your Yacky 1B was done.

And let's not even get started on:

Kim, we know you want to be "down" with your FYONE boyfriend Reggie. But, after watching Keeping up with the Kardashians (my secret addiction), he's not "down" with us. So let it go? K, hun? And J. Holliday's straight backs look better than yours anyway.

And the H.A.M. everyone hates to love:

*Side eye*

Just why Tyra? Why are you always on some stupid quest to be "real." So far on your show, you're proven your breasts are "real," the picture they took of your retired model self was "real", and now, you're "real" for the Obama movement for wearing braids on TV?!

It's just not OK!

Now, please, let me explain that I love braids. Micros are so chick, box braids a little more common folk but suitable none the less. And I like the side swept cornrows into a ponytail or a bun. But the straight back movement is best reserved for overnight wear, children under the age of 11, men, and mug shots.

Even Alicia Keys, QUEEN of the braid movement, let it go.
And she didn't even have the jail-inspired straight backs!

So a double tap to you all. Let's pray I don't have to do anymore anytime soon!

A Letter to J-Hud.

Dear J-Hud,



You're Pregnant.
We Know.
Stop Lying.
Stop the Madness.
You're being whack-tastic.
Fatness spreads everywhere. not just you're belly.

XOXO!

Steph

I just can't..Lord!

I need somebody to tell me why your girl (Natalie) J-Hud was on the streets, let alone Good Morning American rockin this outfit

It gets worse people:
I'm gonna take a shot of WHAT THE HELL chased by a Shaking my damn head at this outift! Like we know you're pregnant and all so you need bigger clothes, but this is ridiculous! I'm not ready for the flat big girl butt syndrome to be all ablast in this pic! And is that a ZIPPER buried into the CREVICE of those pants?!

And I'm so bad she's got the hand on the leg as if she's doing something with this outfit! JENNIFER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

I just can't! Maybe that's why the Essence photo spread was taken entirely from the neck up...

They probably didn't have time to find another stylist and didn't want this kind of monstrosity to be in there magazine!

Jennifer, this isn't even Pseudo-fab. This is a H.A.M. Unacceptable.

Faith 21...Fab or PseudoFab?

Trendy-Chic, ballin-on-a-budget, skinnie minnie retailer Forever 21 has announced that it will launching it's official plus sized line called "Faith 21" on May 1st both online and in stores.


It will offer the same clothing styles in the same price range (Under $30) as traditional Forever 21 clothing, but sizes will range from Xl to 2XL to fit a "curvier" girl.

And while I'm all for the thick sister movement, and am proud of Forever 21 for realizing the demand for young fashion to bigger ladies (the type that Lane bryant markwets but only your momma want to wear...sometimes...) I have to call into question the service that this is really doing to the unhealthier Americans.

I'm not going to lie and say, as a bigger girl, that I'm not excited at the prospect of being able to buy a party dress for under $30 and not have to tape down my boobies. It would SIGNIFICANTLY decrease the amount of money I spend on party dresses and significantly INCREASE my wardrobe options.

However, as someone who has recently dropped a jean size (HOORAY!!!), I know that part of the motivation for losing weight, besides being healthy long term, is the fact that I can't wear what I want to wear. I like the litle dresses hat Forever 21 has, and am on a constant quest to fit into the ones with zipper closures as oppossed to the summer dresses with runching (which will make there appearance in the 80-degree weekend we are suppossed to have.) I run on the treadmill and chant my mantra "I have to wear shorts to six flags, I have to wear shorts to six flags...but if I can get $10 shorts, what's the point?

I fully understand that there is a need for bigger girls to feel better about themselves. And I understand that feeling better often comes from how you feel in the clothes you are wearing. But I think we should feel better about being healthy than being trendy.

So, I guess there's no conclusion to this one, kids. Will I be at Forever 21 on May 1st scoping out cute club/summer outfits? Sure. Do I hope they may skinny jeans in larger sizes so i can get a pair for $18. You bet!

Am I gonna stop working out and eating right because I can finally shop there?

Not a chance!

I Might be a Little Off...

Now, I'll be the first one to say that my vision isn't what it used to be, especially since my *ahem* problem (please hold comments- NATALIE) but...



Doesn't she look a bit on the "pale" side to you?

Portraits of Lady O and El Commander in Chief were unveiled at Madame Toussaint's Wax Museum today.

And while I love the fact that they captured the essence of Michelle's tea length shift dresses, signature double strand pearls, and perfectly cinched cardigan by a KILLER belt (I'm going to excuse the flats, we all know she does pointed toe kitten heels), I can't help but think something's a little off.

And it's not Barack's slightly off center smile, his a la top model smiling with his eyes or his Dennis Quaid (think--new Parent Trap) laugh lines...

(Excuse me. I'm allowed a groupie moment for the President.)

I can't help but swear that Michelle, even in a wash out color like red, is darker than her hubby.
See?

And Madame Toussaint has gotten the melanin pretty right before...

I don't understand why the "yellow"er Black people look real close to the real color, but Mrs. First Black Diva in the White House looks like:
well, like she took a wrong turn on that European tour and took a 2 month vacay on that piece of Antartica that broke off...

Now, the optimist in me want to believe that this is just bad lighting. But two pictures have indicated that Barack is depicted, in the same light, darker than Michelle.

So, the realist in me can't help but wonder if this is just a manifestation of the "White woman" complex. Or, in other words, the notion that a pure, accomplished woman who stands behind her man and is successful in her own right has to be fair in complexion.

What do you all think?

Under rated cutie- Pseudo Fabulous Indeed!

I just wanted to take a moment out of my day and point out someone who I believe has flown under the radar for far too long:

Well, hello Mr. Columbus Short. How are you doing?

This choreographer/actor/ McDonalds #8 McCutie Meal, supersized hails from Kansa City, Missouri but moved to Los Angeles at 5 where he began acting in youth theaters. Tho he has appeared in numerous movies including Save the Last Dance and You Got Served. Most memorably, he starred and helped to choreograph Stomp the Yard.

And I must say that if i wasn't devoted to my cutie, and then NeYo, I would let Mr. TNT stomp my yard early on a Sunday :-)

And I'm out!

I'm gonna go ahead and issue some double taps....

Certain trends in the celebrity world often force me to issue double taps...which, in sister-gurl speak, means that I'm going to have to tap you twice and tell you subtly about yourself. So here goes!:

The current shoe trend is a platform high heel a la Christian Loubiton, Yves Saint Laurent, etc. it looks like this:

Beautiful shoe. Christian Loubitoun's. And don't get me wrong, I love this trend, but they have to FIT. Like this:
Now, 'Tasia is a H.A.M, but her shoes fit and they're pretty OK. She's making her way back to us, one psedofab outfit at a time.

But then you have this:

in a recent Louis Vutton ad.

Now, one could rebuke that Trina is a mess from her God Awful lacefront to her toes that are looking like they're holding on for dear life lest they be thrown overboard onto the floor.

But then you have repeat offenders like

And Ms. Goode is a repeat offender. I know it's a recession and she ain't done nothing IN A MINUTE but she needs to go ahead and "video model" it out so she can buy shoes that aren't one size (doesn't) fit all.

And then, this week's shocker:

Now, RhiRhi, you don't need to be shopping for a house if you can't afford the pair of Loubiton's that fit you, hun. Bad break-up and all.

Moral of the double-tap: If they don't have them in your size at the store, shop online. DO NOT SETTLE.

Oh, and I found this too

But you know I don't tolerate talking about Mrs. Carter on my blog.

Peace!